time

The battle with controlling it, disactisfaction on how it is spent, and the gratefulness with having it.

Time is such an interesting concept, a concept that constructs your and mine reality. Something you can’t touch or hold and only something that can be lost. Something you can’t buy or store and only something you can operate within. Time is both irreducible and illusionary.

This last year has been interesting. At times it felt like I was moving a million miles per second while at others it felt slow and sluggish, even drifting backward.

But regardless of my perception, time ticks.

Carpe diem, right? Seize the day.

Apparently, we experience time much faster as we get older. It’s something about kids perceiving time slower because they need to process more visual data in their minds while adults require less. Maybe that’s why we always wished we got older when we were kids and get insulted when people ask for our age when we get to that age aha...

Identity

The systematic inquiry of who we are and what we believe in.

I am officially 25. A quarter of my life lived and behind me. It went by relatively quick — a lot quicker than young me would’ve thought. Often times when we hit a numerical milestone like this one we will try to sum up the meaning of it. It frequently leads to questions of who’ve we become, whether we’re happy with that, our role in society and even the metaphysical inquiry of our own existence. Who and how do we see ourselves relative to the world is a good one too.

All those questions derive from one fundamental inquiry — and it is the question of our identity.

Your identity, the building blocks that ground you as a unique individual and abstractly fortifies you as a person is something that we’ve all struggled with defining. I don’t mean that bullsh*t answer you give when a job interviewer asks you to tell them about yourself — or is that valid? Is your identity based on where you’re from, what you’ve done and why you’re nervously sitting in front of a complete stranger in a tailored suit behind a desk in a brightly lit office? If you accept that, then are we our resume? Is our identity best defined by the bullet points we’ve drafted on an 8 by 11?...

A life guided by "Yes"

Reasons why life should always have more yeses than nos.

As I get older and hopefully wiser, I begin to think a lot about the philosophical foundation that people knowingly or unknowingly live by. The sort of foundation that influences how we see, think and react to the world is something that we often don’t question because it comes naturally — but it is nevertheless interesting. The perspectives we all individually hold are all different. Even the perception we have of ourselves is different from how others perceive us. Similarly, there are no two people in the world that views you the exact same. I find that fascinating.

And so, when I look back and do a retro on what value or foundation that essentially guided me to the present, I took a step back and really thought about it. But like most things, everything is much simpler than I thought. My life philosophy I’m about to bestow upon you (aha) is not that complex and truth be told, it is probably not that original. But again, something to nibble on...

Losing my dad.

And the responsibilities of not having one.

Yesterday my dad would’ve turned 61. It’s been 6 years since he passed away but it never really got easier. It’s a tough reality to accept. The only thing that is supposed to make you feel better is the idea that he’s in a better place now and that he’s watching over you and although that suffices some odd emotional bs emptiness inside, I would much rather have him here in person. But that’s not possible anymore. I lost him when I was a senior in high school. At the age of 17, nothing was ever absolute in my life. Whenever there were unforeseen situations that popped up, my dad always found a way to fix it. He was the living proof that when there is a will there is a way. No problem was ever too big to solve. No mountain was ever too tall to climb. He was our family’s Superman and the epitome of the immigrant dream...

Life after.

Coasting back to recovery by doing unscalable things

It’s been over a year since we sold our startup and it’s been an interesting time returning back to normal life. Whether it was the chaotic fun of running a team or the fact that we were the sole dictators of our fate, I definitely miss it — and at the same time, glad it is a chapter closed.

Not many people talk about it but running a company gets pretty lonely. The feeling of guilt followed me on the daily. The idea that every individual’s fate on the team was dependent on the decisions I made was something that ate at me constantly. Being a founder comes with the expectation of being the leader that steers the rest of the cohort to success. There’s a degree of accountability of a founder to be able to produce results which include monetary results for their team. When there is a question, there is an expectation that you will have or do your job to get the right answer. When there is a problem, the requirement of a leader is that you will be the one with the best solution. You’re the one who is expected to align everyone from the chaos and direct everyone with the vision — regardless if you’re ready...

In an attempt to change the world, we lose ourselves.

Balancing excitement and discontentment in the modern world

I believe that the desire and urgency to make an impact is something we all have on our to-do list. We like the idea of building something useful and utilized by the vast majority. We dream of the possibility of one day stumbling upon something that propels into something greater. While we accept that we are only temporary beings and not immortal, we like the idea of being part of building something bigger than ourselves — with hopes that it’ll live on even after us. And it is the very idea of changing the world that both emboldens us to act and also kills us with discontent. In an attempt to change the world, we lose ourselves...

Missing home.

The untold cost of being away from family

I try to have daily calls with my mom for the last 6 years I’ve been away from home. I just got off the phone with her and we teared up a bit in the end. I’m in San Francisco and she’s back home in Canada. We often forget that when we choose to migrate to different parts of the world for better opportunities, we also sacrifice the time we get to spend with our loved ones. It seems like that’s just a part of the deal — but it’s a deal that we sign and our loved ones just have to go along with...

The Overwhelming Guilt

What they didn't tell me about starting a startup

Before I started this whole thing, they told me:

· 'It's going to be tough'
· 'You're fighting an uphill battle'
· 'You're probably going to fail'
· 'You're going to have to bootstrap everything'
· 'You're going to be financially screwed, sacrifice family time, and have sleepless nights'

Those are all true and I have somewhat experienced a bit of everything but that wasn't it. There are a few things that I didn't expect to be facing (which I assume is normal) that made me embark on writing this blog post...

5 tips that helped me grow this year.

Taking a step back and reflecting

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten the chance to sit down and whole-heartedly reflect on life. So to start, I want to say that I’ve learned a lot these past few months — about myself and different perspectives. Here they are:

1. Treat everyone as if they were the smartest person you’ve ever met.

My friend mentioned that to me (probably when we were eating instant noodles at 4 am in the morning) and it really got me thinking. If we took away our macho egos and view everyone as our teachers, we will not only instil positive vibes into people but...